Are there times when you feel disconnected from your truth? If so, you are not alone. Many people going through divorce or other life challenges look outside of themselves for confirmation of how to interpret their intuition or consciously indulge in behaviors that deviate from their own value system. When these patterns develop, your ability to think logically gets weaker over time and you begin to consistently question how to trust or interpret your emotions. As a result, you can become numb or overtaken with fear or uncertainty and consequently live in a state of self-doubt, which separates you from your own authentic feelings. By quieting your mind and focusing on the T.R.U.T.H. Framework of Trust, Reflect, Understand, Talk, and Honor, you can live your own truth, connect to your thoughts and feelings and live a more authentic life.
THE T.R.U.T.H. Framework
There is no one more important to trust than yourself. There are many layers of self-evaluation and acceptance that can be strengthened over time with focused intention. Believing that you are capable of handling painful emotions, failure, or rejection is core to developing self-trust. Having conviction of your capabilities can build up your confidence, make it easier for you to make decisions, reduce your stress levels, and lessen your need for approval from others. With conscious action, trust can become more prevalent.
- Be yourself: You are unique and important.
- Set reasonable goals for yourself: Try setting many little goals that point you in the direction of your big goal.
- Be kind to yourself: Be mindful of your self-critical thoughts as they arise, acknowledge them, and let them go. Set the intention of loving yourself unconditionally.
- Build on your strengths: Become aware of the things you are good at and try other things without judging yourself to harshly. Growth comes from stepping outside of your comfort zone.
- Spend time with yourself: Look inward. Focus on the moment and do your best to fill your love tank.
- Be decisive: Embrace your own power and judgment. Make choices and stick to them.
No one can be as consistently supportive as you can be to yourself. Begin to live your truth as you begin to trust your inner wisdom.
You must want to hop off the treadmill, step back, and reflect on your life, behaviors, and beliefs in order to find your balance in mind, body, and spirit. Being aware of your thoughts and how to uncover your core values and principals is essential to your happiness. Time flies by and without consciously pausing to evaluate your circumstance, character, actions, and motives, you can feel depleted, stressed, unhappy, frustrated, and tired. In order to connect with your truth, you can set the intention of following these steps:
- Stop: Take a step back from life and allow yourself to take three deep breaths.
- Look: Identify and get perspective on what you notice and see without judgment.
- Listen: Connect to your feelings, your wisest guide.
- Act: Identify the steps you need to take to be at one with your truth. Be open to adjusting, changing, or improving.
Taking time for reflection will serve to keep you in check, focused on self-improvements, and will ensure you are as fulfilled as possible while being loyal to your truth.
It is essential to look within yourself to define and get clear on what truly aligns with your deepest values. Developing an understanding of what is meaningful to you and making a conscious effort to identify and live by your values will allow you to speak your truth as opposed to reacting from old, negative patterns. Becoming sympathetic with yourself requires:
- Accepting who you are in this moment: It is normal to struggle or to be disappointed. What is imperative is to focus on bridging the gap between where you are and where you want to be without judgment or blame.
- Acknowledging who you are: Each of us have impulses that drive us. Take time to understand your strengths and weaknesses as well as your personal standards and ethical code.
- Define your truth: Think, meditate, and journal your thoughts and feelings.
- Live loud and proud: Be honest and full in your truth. Be supportive of what is true for you alone and unhindered by outside influences.
Understanding and learning to accept your story and your life is what will connect you to your truth and will help you have a deep sensitivity and knowing for how your world needs to evolve.
Communicating what your identity, feelings, needs, boundaries, and desires are in an authentic way is crucial to living in alignment with your truth. In order to enhance your capacity to speak your truth:
- Be honest and name how you feel in the moment: Communicate care for others. If you feel uncomfortable, scared, resentful, sad, angry, or guilty, identify the emotion. Inner liberation comes from owning your feelings.
- Practice acknowledging what you want: Speak up and step into your life so you can be in truth with what you want. Your desires are a critical part of who you are.
- If you have nothing to say, embrace the silence. Sometimes the best response is to say nothing.
- Focus on being real and not on being right: When someone asks you how you feel, tell the truth. Small moments of authenticity allow you to receive compassion and empathy. Additionally, try not to set the intention of winning or being correct because it inhibits you from accessing the deepest places of your heart.
- Stop managing other people’s feelings: Dominating conversations and people is not productive and doesn’t help build authentic communication.
Giving yourself permission to be vulnerable and transparent will enhance and deepen your capacity to speak your truth and will lead to increased freedom, self-respect, and confidence.
Honoring your inner wisdom is the most powerful tool you have for living an authentic life. When you are honest with yourself about your needs and wants are, and you live a life that is aligned with them, you have a stronger ability to let go of desiring validation by others. Honoring your truth can be really difficult and scary. In order to nurture your inner wisdom, set the intention of becoming one with your intuition and allow it to guide you in an appropriate direction:
- Be committed to honoring your reality: Be honest with yourself about yourself.
- Become aware of the things you have been avoiding: Be mindful of the excuses you implement that keep you stuck. Identify and write them down.
- Partner with your emotions: Relax into your feelings of fear or discomfort instead of resisting them. By partnering with your feelings, you decrease the power of the scary or uncomfortable feelings and allow yourself the ability to honestly explore the depth of your emotions.
- Give yourself permission to speak from a place of sincerity: Hiding or burying your feelings doesn’t get you closer to your truth and does not fuel happiness. Be real with your emotions.
- Be candid with how you feel: Do not pretend to feel something you don’t. Speak up for yourself and create healthy boundaries. People will treat you the way you allow them to.
- Take time to reflect on what truly matters to you: Pausing allows you time to react in a more positive manner and to keep peace within yourself.
Your truth is your power! Create space to become more aware of your highest principles, values, and desires. Integrity serves everyone in the long run, even if it does not seem that way at first. Being sincere about how you feel, what you want, or need will allow you to respect yourself as well as others. Set the intention of validating your inner wisdom, despite any discomfort that might arise because when you stand in your truth, you are honoring your very essence and purpose. True freedom derives from speaking authentically. Go ahead! Take the challenge of embracing a life of liberation and use the T.R.U.T.H. Framework to feel empowered and confident.
How will you live your truth?
Jennifer Warren Medwin, MS is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach, Supreme Court of Florida Family Mediator, and a Certified Marital Mediator. Her private practice in Pinecrest, Miami is called Seeking Empowerment: Clarity through Partnership. Jennifer specializes in working alongside individuals and couples who are contemplating divorce and are fearful of high conflict and with those who hope to save their marriages. She partners with clients to develop the clarity, confidence, courage, conflict management strategies, and communication skills they need in order to move through the process. Jennifer uses her knowledge of coaching and mediation to help her clients emotionally prepare for the dissolution of their marriages or the reconciliation of their relationships in the most organized, time efficient, and productive manner. Additionally, Jennifer is a member of the National Association of Divorce Professionals (NADP) and a contributing writer for Your Tango and Thrive Global. Her approach to divorce coaching and mediation is one that provides clients with guidance and compassion through a difficult time in their lives.
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DISCLAIMER: The commentary, advice, and opinions from Gabrielle Hartley are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice or mental health services. You should contact an attorney and/or mental health professional in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
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